love in the time of aderol

i.ve been polyamorous since i was five. in my head. most everyone in school had a crush on somebody: i could never choose one or two people to like. i liked just about everybody. well ... not the boys so much. i.m like a grade school girl in that regard. i don.t know if boys had cooties; but most of them seemed to know something i didn.t. or they knew just as little but weren.t as bothered by it.

either way i.ve spent most of my social life around female bodied people and that.s never struck me as a problem. i crush on mulititudes and masses every day. which is hot and awesome. i fall in love easily and always have; but recently i asked myself a question i.d never raised before:

is it possible to love someone while i.m not thinking of them?

this is perhaps a rephrasing of another fairly common question: can you love more than one person at a time? that i have tried and it.s a lot of fun but sort of leaves me with my hands full. threesome jokes aside: with the many people i love … i only have a finite amount of thought and focus at any given moment. is that wrong of me? am i disingenuous to profess love when i can.t always offer attention?

i don.t want to be unfair to my lovers or myself. truth is: there are a lot of people i care about. but does that mean i should stop adding to the list? or do i need to hide the list to avoid hurting feelings? hopefully neither: lists are useful. and it.s so wonderful to sit down and remember who i love. and who loves me. and how … as i think of them … what i felt then comes to life and renews me again.

sexual harassment in Oakland

I was looking for a place to post this incident I had happen to me this morning while on my way to work.

This is the letter I wrote to a BART officer whose card I had:



I was given your card one day when my boyfriend was speeding in the Bayfair BART parking lot. He was hurrying to pick me up because I had called him to let him know that I was being harassed by a guy close by. That was probably about a year ago.

You gave me your card and let me know that I could contact you if I had any further problems. I had an incident occur this morning that I wanted to let you know about.

I live in the Fruitvale neighborhood of Oakland . I have lived in this neighborhood for almost two years, and have been repeatedly verbally harassed by men as I walk down the street regardless of what time of day it is and what I am wearing.

For the past 6 or 9 months at least, if not longer, I have noticed that I no longer get harassed when I walk down the street, and have chalked it up to the current absence of “street walkers” in my neighborhood.

While I have no blame for them whatsoever and feel that sex work should in general be decriminalized, I am grateful that, due to their absence, men that I encounter no longer find it advisable to proposition me on a regular basis because they assume that I am “up for grabs” because I am female and alone and walking.

I am immensely grateful that my neighborhood has become a safer place for me to exist in, and give happy credit to the added police efforts I have seen in this neighborhood that have no doubt contributed to this.

I am unsure whether or not my reporting of this incident to you will in fact accomplish much, but it certainly makes me feel better, if nothing else.

At 8:12 this morning I walking on International Blvd. and around 36th, heading toward the BART station on 34th. A man in a worn looking blue truck that had a covered bed pulled up into the parking lot of a taqueria I was passing next to. He yelled “Hey!” at me out the window and something else that indicated that he was trying to get my attention. I kept walking, and thinking he would leave me alone when he saw that I was ignoring him, turned my head so that he couldn’t see my face, as he backed out of the parking lot and followed me in his car down the street as I walked on the sidewalk. I was at that point coming to a small gas station and was right at the driveway to enter into it when his truck pulled up directly in front of me, blocking my way, and he said to me in perfect English, “I needed to eat some pussy like that as of yesterday.” He was a middle aged, Hispanic man with black hair and a slight mustache.

Instead of reacting, I stretched out my left arm and pointed my hand away from my body and down the road to try to communicate to him that I wanted him away from me. I didn’t feel I had anything to say to him, at that point. He repeated the statement, then added, “I’ll pay you whatever you want.”, to which I extended my arm and hand again, indicating that he should leave me alone.

He pulled around the gas pumps and stopped again and I’m glad he did, because it gave me just enough time to write down his license plate. It is: 54IU003. After he saw me writing it down, he drove away.

For the record, I was wearing a black knee length skirt, a black sleeveless shirt, knee high socks, and flat shoes. I was carrying a large purse on my left shoulder and a black formal jacket draped across my right arm, and a BART ticket.

I believe that it was patently obvious to this person that I was not looking for the type of work that he mentioned, and that was part, if not all, of the “thrill” he received from his harassment of me.

I would really hate to encounter this person again, and will blog about him so that other women in my area can know who he is and be on the look out for him.

I know that he technically probably didn’t do anything wrong, but if I can avoid him and his tactics in the future and spare other people from same, that would be great.

Oddly enough, I have been harassed in a similar manner by a man who might be the same person twice before at the exact same gas station, both other times also in the early morning when I was on my way to work, and both times when it was obvious that I was dressed to go to an office. On both other occasions, the vehicles were not the one that I saw today, but the person was also a Hispanic man, around middle age, with perfect English, who was equally bold with his statements and propositions. The first time was right when I had just moved in to my neighborhood, and the second time was maybe 9 months or so after that.

Please advise on what else I can do to help my neighborhood be a safer place for everybody.

Bravery

I heartily salute the courage and vision of Boots and Co. for their unflagging interest in human masturbation, for their willingness to devote their time and energy to capturing it on film for one and all to enjoy, and for every brave masturbator who has participated in this groundbreaking project.

Every time that we masturbate in the apropriate venue and allow others to witness our masturbation, and share in an appropriate space with them what makes us tick erotically, we perform a service for our fellow human beings. We are saying, Hey, I do it, and I love it, and you know you do it, and love it too!

It should be as "normal" to go masturbate together or watch each other masturbate as it is to eat together and watch each other eat, or go to the bathroom together and watch each other do that.

Like eating and urinating/evacuating, it should be a guiltless pleasure (not that the other functions are not also much laden with guilt and shame).

I have watched many men masturbate directly in front of me from behind glass at the Lusty Lady (the Lousy Lady, because I'm not there anymore) and I have enjoyed seeing that operation from my very first day there to my very last day there. I have found it fascinating, and, more than occassionally, arousing.

I have also found it, on many occassions, disgusting and immensely off putting, but it has never been UNINTERESTING.

I love that a "sex positive" place like the Lusty exists for decent people to go masturbate in front of other decent people, that that's what we're all there to facilitate, that we don't have to pretend that that's what we're all there for, and that none of this makes us worse people because we have participated in this industry/activity.

So, the next time you go by to drop a load, thank god that your shit still works, thank the dancer(s) in front of you who has(have) made your masturbation possible and/or more pleasurable, and, most of all, thank the friendly "mop jizz" for cleaning up after you.

Politeness and a good attitude when visiting your local masturbatorium are always appreciated.

Blessings,
Heidi Temple.

Redhanded Review: Gatsby

So I should start this with a warning. WARNING: This review will not be completely objective. Reviewer knows reviewee. OK, now that we have that out of the way, let’s move on to the good stuff, and lots of good stuff there is.

Gatsby is a completely entertaining performer, someone used to engaging the camera. She has her own Southern Charms site and is quite adept at playing the seductress role. What is so nice to see here is that she let’s her guard down a little bit. What you get to see is not a role being played, but a little something of the actual person behind the role.

What may take some of you by surprise, considering her porn site, is her shyness. Hiding beneath a nest of blankets she begins stroking herself and the only thing you can see is the movement from her hands. She slowly reveals herself until fully exposed and writhes like a snake in the grass on the bare mattress.

I was actually quite charmed (pun intended) by Gatsby and her episode. My only complaint is that the interview wasn’t nearly long enough to satisfy me, but I suppose we cannot pressure shy artists.

Freyja's Sequined Masturbation Maddness

Heard of Southern Charms? I hadn't heard of it either until I worked with Sexy Freyja pictured above. She and a bunch of other people I know have sites on this amateur playground. Unlike other amateur sites, each performer has her own site, and the user buys membership on a person by person basis. So, when you subscribe you get only the home grown photos (and sometimes videos) of the girl of your choosing.

Freyja is a BBW with no shame and lots of fun lust and body modification. This is from a recent post on her site. To find out more go to her site: Sexy Freyja's Southern Charms Site. Enjoy!

Got Felony?

Tuesday was a good day for me except that I didn't really know it at the time. Apparently, the 6th Circuit Court of Appeals, ruled to overturn the unconstitutional and horribly infamous 2257 adult record keeping laws.

For those of you who aren't deep in the adult business, the 2257 regulations sound all good and fine until you get into the finer print. The claimed purpose of these laws is to make sure that all adult performers are over age. In principle this is a great thing. In practice this law was made overly broad in order to try to put adult business out of business. As it turns out you are probably a felon under this law; yes, you!

If you take an erotic photo of yourself (or God forbid a lusted-one), at home, on your digital camera or phone or whatever, you are required to photocopy your own (and their) ID. A copy of the photo must be kept with it on record until the ends of time. The record should be available for unannounced inspection at least 20 normal business hours per week. If you further complicate this exhibitionist urge by posting your photo up on a blog, you are required to keep track of anywhere this image might end up. Does it get copied and passed around? Does it get posted on other blogs? Well you better fucking know because this too must be kept on record at your location. Anyway, you don't have to post it anywhere to become a felon. It is a crime to take an explicit picture without doing this kind of documentation. So tell me are you a felon?

The trouble for us and other small porn companies is that we are required to have a published location where we reside at least 20 business hours a week. I ask you what pornographer (especially a female-bodied one) wants to publish her home address for the potentially predatory wanking world? So, we have an office. We were lucky to find one in the ghettos of Oakland for only $550 a month. That is a lot of overhead for a business that doesn't cover its costs. That's a lot of risk of stalking even if it isn't my home address. No other business has to deal with predatory overhead in order to start up. There is a good argument that the government is imposing unnecessary dangers by requiring that our addresses be publicized. What's wrong with just registering it with a governing agency, after all?

If all that isn't bad enough, the law's broadness means that the people who are prosecuted are really targeted for other reasons. Bush started his regime going after BDSM and other highly fetishized stuff ... which is not child pornography, the alleged target of this law.

So, while I don't want things to go back to the way they were where sleaze ball pornographers could film potentially underage folks without so much a photocopying an ID, these laws aren't really made to battle the child porn issue. They are made to criminalize pornography. So, let's all hail the joys of free speech as embodied in this decision and hope that someone moderate is able to create a real law that protects minors from pornographic abuse.